I recently responded to a comment about my take on ‘escalator speeches’. The reader liked it and indicated that you’d have to be fast and to the point to make it work. He also offered his own sample.
Yes, the whole point here is fast, concise, focused and to the point. His escalator speech – ‘I’m a communication skills expert’ – is short and concise, but it’s about him, not them. And the term ‘expert’ has some ego-centric baggage connected with it, which can be a turnoff for some people.
If that sounds like you, ask yourself about the result someone achieves after working with you and build your statement around that. In the reader’s case, it could be ‘I empower (or energize – either verb is better than the wimpy ‘help’) people (but, better to define his target market here, such as ‘sales professionals’, ‘entrepreneurs’ or ‘executives’) to communicate with more power (or success or impact, etc.). So, his could could then become ‘I energize executives to present with more impact’.
Still works on the escalator … and probably even better.